Friday, August 24, 2012

pillow talk

long have i waxed on about my PG rated fantasies here. i am after more hours than i can count, home alone. the silence punctuated by the cyclic running sounds of the air conditioner is simply HEAVEN on EARTH.
miss twentysomething is at work, the boy who likes to aggravate is at work with my husband, the widget is off with her bff at another teammates home. it is just me, the dog and the filthy tumbleweeds here. Is it wrong to say how much i absolutely LOVE IT?
i apologize to all if i am insulting them, or to you reading if you are in a mentally cluttered hell of your own... aka at the merciless whims of others.

this week has been extra sloggy. no real work has been accomplished. just too many things have been going on.

  1. tess' bff is visiting, for high school "hell week". for scheduling reasons above and beyond sensible control, she needed to be in providence, while her family was out of town. they still come and go, as her dad is working and her older sister has the same preseason crap to deal with. still, it made a lot of sense for her to bunk in with us. i am sure when she hits her twenties, we will not have stupid conversations like the one we had this morning.  Me: "k, did you brush your teeth?"  K:" ugh do you think i should?"  Me: "yes, you probably should".  {who is fifteen and doesn't know this yet? also who is fifteen and occasionally likes boys? also, who is fifteen and had me go pick her up at her house because she forgot her toothbrush there days ago? who is fifteen and has dropped a lot of IQ points just cause her head is not filled with life crap yet? the answer to all of these questions is K, she is fifteen.}
  2. son had work to do that actually tired him out. it included a trip to the DMV, which translated to 3 hours of sitting around with the milk and honey of Rhode Island car drivers. i can easily say, it is air conditioned adequately, so that would not have been a travesty for me to do. the point of being there was to get a car registered. one with power steering, all 4 doors that open and close, windows that open and close from each spot in the car. a gas cap that is attached to the car... not one that can fly off the trunk if you forget to screw it back in to its proper place after pumping gas.   Also the boy had to wait around for something else that day, an alarm company, and the end all be all was at the tire store. we needed to replace all 4 tires on the car to make it safely drivable. when we returned home to have dinner, all passive aggressive eyes look to me, to figure out what it is for common dinner. what ensued was a great grand group of misadventures. my son was watching "LOST" reruns. i was tired and as hungry as everyone else. i was talking to him and he was not amused. he wanted to become one with the sofa. eventually, he got annoyed enough to do the following. text me this message: "STFU".  this simple acronym spurred me into insanity. hurt and rage do not cover my emotional wealth at that moment. for those of you not into stupid stuff, this means:  "shut the fuck up''.  die child of mine for saying such a thing to your mother and suggesting/lying to say you meant to say it to your little sister. we both know you did not. 
  3. husband bought me a moving sofa when i started to drive. it may have been around $7oo. it was a navy colored buick lesabre. it had single seats for the front and back that were both covered in plush velveteen material. the car industry kind. in return,  my paycheck automatically deducted money to pay off a loan we took for a red 1985 mustang. husband wanted a muscle car baaad. we had no kids then. however, the car fell into disrepair as we fell into having children. it has sat in the driveway for nearly 20 years. earlier this summer there were columbines growing out from under its wheels. i loved that. i have been heard to say, i am one bad tattoo away from being officially poor white trash.  rarely do we enjoy all of our utilities working at the same time... we have too many cars in our one car driveway, the house is small and cramped, and we eat from the lowest pricing of the grocery store a lot. (mostly because two kids in college and a heart attack victim have left me with less choices for serving food and the pocketbook to do it with).  so  yesterday after a summer of father-son bonding, the mustang was fixed up well enough to be sold. it was bittersweet. 
  4. i applied to two shows by the same promoter. he is a swell guy and helps loads of people with his vision of things. sometimes, he gets ahead of things. simultaneously, there is a facebook page that is invite only and filled with info about shows. we of the crafting sort have taken to chatting through this forum.  also, i have had to remind myself many times over, not everyone has the same relationship. so yesterday and the day before, many of the folks on my circuit weighed in on the fact that they had made it into one of the shows i had applied for. now the fees for doing the  show will cost $450 to be paid up front for december dates. not only is this inconvenient, but it is gonna set me back to square one for a while.  this having been said, one of the members of our crafty tribe announced that she was in! this was done publicly on our facebook forum. many others ensued. i am not trying to be a bitch, but not everyone heard their news. so it was upsetting since i was one that hadn't gotten the word yet. i tried not to say STFU but it was eating at me. eventually i did say something about this on the fb page.  really, everyone should be told at the same time. also the artists that were in, should NOT have crowed about it. adulthood and grace should have inserted itself to say, not until everyone knows. this is what private messages are for. 
so i am if nothing a bit grumpy. between this and wanting some sugar really badly while i got a full body set of hives in response to my insulin meds... well grumpy just begins to cover that mess.
today's silence is heaven on earth. i am enjoying it to the max. hell, i may even take a shower and vacuum finally. luxurious style isn't it?

why did i call this post "PILLOW TALK"?
in my mind's eye, i have developed a line of sofa pillows that i call Pillow Talk. they have sayings needlepointed onto them. kind of like on my great grandma emma's sofa and living room chairs. you know the ones... they never got soiled because they were covered in plastic sheathing? yep. 
to balance these leg-sticking covers, i want to do a bunch of pillows for my sofa. 

clearly a forerunner as of this week is 
"STFU"

a second choice is one holding my family crest on it...
an ostrich with its head under ground. 
surrounded with midievel heraldry symbols and a shield. 
this represents the inability of all my family to deal with shit head on. 

the third is a quote from the chairman MAO...
"it is always darkest before it goes completely black."

surely, there are other choices, but i am now tired and not gonna list them. i am gonna take another leg to my nappage with the getting is good. 

*****

fresh flowers are drying as i write this. 
soon my pretties... we will be ready to harvest a new batch. 
and they will become new lockets. 
in two sizes 
and two metal colors. 
hands are rubbing together in glee here!

green tea rose

chambray flower

sunset rose

peace rose


xoxo.w.





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