Tuesday, October 16, 2012

little miss crankypants, the language assessor.

i do not know why. i am a bitch. it comes out in many little ways. perhaps it is my uber-sarcastic humor, or maybe it is from being totally self-righteous or maybe it is a result of the nurture vs. nature debate. i do not know... but i am one. i try to  be as nice as i possibly can, but no good deed goes unpunished in my world.

what may have brought this moment of self deprecation forward you may ask? well i spent some time in the glorious early new england autumn sunshine. i was walking with my dog on a running track. he was going all free-willy all over the place. the squirrels out there may have thought they hadn't a chance with him, but they are completely safe with him. he never catches any of them. as a matter of fact, i think it is just some internally hardwired game he has to play. when confronted with an actual stationary grey beastie, he is totally non-plussed. he has nothing to say or do.
i was walking and my dog was leaping and bounding. he was having as nice a time in his own world as i was. we were both enjoying some light hearted yet essential exercise. knowing me even slightly, will suggest this is an event of ginormous proportion and simultaneous with harmonic planetary alignment. i tend to dislike exercise; it's the sweatiness that resultingly happens. i love how i feel after it is done, but then again, that's where that self righteous thing rears its nasty little head.

as i was moving along the oval i saw some oak trees in the mix. i am a relentless re-purposer and try to smother my crankiness by thinking of others. my friend janice makes awe-inspiring things from felted wool and other fibers in unlikely combinations along with vintage silk saris. now that seems easy enough, but first you need to have all kinds of mad textile skills and then you need to be married to an indian fella with a pipeline to old silks ... it is not as easy as it sounds.
one of janice's side sets of products for sale, is a quick and easy little construction made with felted wool and acorn caps. in my mind, i have been waiting for the perfect time to pluck gabillions of acorn caps from the ground in wooded areas nearby to gift her with. it will allow her to move her festive acorn making factory into overdrive. today seemed a good chance to do some harvesting.  i spent a relatively short but fruitful period with my tush in the air, picking up the adorable mini-wooden berets for her assemblages.

between the joy of running around off-leash and during the season where squirrels take more food hoarding chances with their safety, the dog to got a little jiggy with things. he was so happy, he pooped for the third time. i had run out of clean-up bags, since one had just been allocated to being filled with fresh materials for felted acorns. i left the bag of my collection on the side of the track to pinpoint the mess and walked back to my car to get some more bags for its removal.
in the few moments that this took and the time i took to walk back to where my spot was marked, my plan was dismantled.   a man with a chocolate lab in a big harness was taking my bag and his dog over to the trash barrel.

head slap.

he was dumping my former place marker and acorn cache into the oil drum trash can. i asked to be sure and he replied that someone left a bag of "shells"and he was cleaning it up. seriously, i did not lose it... but i mentioned that i had in fact been collecting the acorn tops and had left the bag to mark my dog's mess. he said "oh" and as i went to reclaim the bag, he told me his dog had peed all over it anyways.
i let it go, went back to look for the mess in the dried leaves and pine needles. luckily it was easy to find and so was the pile of "shells" the guy had poured out of the pee bag onto the ground nearby.

since i had fresh bags to recapture the acorns with, i did so. we had a little discussion about what i was doing and why. he offered that there were a lot  more caps available "at the front".  my head works overtime often enough. i was trying to decide if i wanted to ask, but thought better and figured it was easier to look for other oak trees. since the park and track were oval, there was no clear 'front' to the space. just a couple of more open areas that were along side of it all. hard to say what was a 'front' or a proper entrance. so i just kept my mouth shut.
then the fellow offered the info that there were lots more that were double caps still attached and they were really unique.
here is where my inner language bitch said "MEEEEEOOOOOW!!!"
how can lots of the same thing be unique? especially when it is at the front on an oval?

it is hard being so sarcastic by nature. and by nurture too. the same woman that carefully tended that growth in me also was the one to tell me she could not abide by my self righteousness. again, head slapping myself here. if not for her and her own stinking forms of cray-cray, i suspect that i wouldn't be  imbued with sarcasm, sardonic insight, irony or self righteousness. she made me this way to survive her beastliness and ineptitude in parenting. very limited nurturing occurred.  as my my friend janice says,  in deference to her own childhood, "she was raised by wolves".  often enough, i think i was too. it was another pack though. they had a guilt gene inserted into their dna.

so my sweet puppy and i enjoyed the weather, the collecting, the ability to curtail snarly comments and were just about to pop into our car to return to home base. an enormously lovely young mother from a tropical island somewhere stopped me to speak. her accent had a lilting accent with british overtones that identified her island origin and open countenance. she had her 18 month old son, a gorgeous confection with her. she asked if my dog was friendly and if her son could pat him. of course they could. i adore trying to get more people and dogs to enjoy each other. it makes my grinch heart swell a little every time.
so the three of us were communing with the dog. another woman pulled up and my dog sashayed the six feet over to greet her. she freaked out and asked if he was going to bite her. seriously, did the small 18 month old boy look in peril of any kind? did the dog rush her? he mosied to be sure. that was all. no growling or barking either. at worst, i figure he would make his presence known by shedding near her.. but that is pretty much it.

i need regular reminders. it is not me.... it is that it is cranston. cranston, rhode island. and cranston has its own zip code, but needs its own area code as well as country code. there is something that makes people there dumber more often than they need to be. not all people... just more than one might feel is normal.

so this is what makes me a bitch. rolling all the language and attitudes around in my head. i did not say anything; my aging is allowing me to keep things to myself more. an ability to control my mouth more carefully is helpful in getting by in this world. that and making fresh flowery goodies.

on that note.... here are a few new things or elements in progress.
earrings. earrings. earrings. i made 29 prs. last night. only need their rhinestones to glam them up and some earwires to make them dangle.

earrings. earrings. earrings.
in progresso

tonight i am gonna get some posts made. they are overdue. here is a photo of an older pair i made and me when i was a year younger. the contrast amuses me.

old lady ears... pay no attention to the grey hair, wrinkles and age spots around those lobes. 
it is the scale, color and floral form of the post earrings that are noteworthy.

 and then there are some new necklaces that i made with silver chains 
instead of my more usual vintage lucite beaded ones. 

a new pair of GRACELETS...
since way back when my son was small and charming, 
he would call bracelets 'gracelets' instead. 

and for all of you keeping score at home, 
fresh chain bracelets came into being as well. 
they are punctuated with earrings (again in their then, unwired state)

my daily rant is now concluded. i know there are loads of things to do other than take a field trip into my world, but thanks for looking in.


Monday, October 8, 2012

i hate that i hate some of my neighbors.

hate is a strong word. i am feeling a certain degree of it though... or some degree of incomparable discomfort. my neighbors are described to me as being rachet. yeah, you heard me, i said it. rachet. oh fer heaven's sake, now what is she going on about? i know that is what you are thinking. also you may be saying to yourselves, she is on another stinkin' nonsense filled rant. no good can come of this.

my neighbors moved in to the house across the street from me. it bugs me a lot, since i am in my house a lot. i work in the front, street-side room and do most of my stuff there. i mean eat meals, work on projects, talk on the phone, nap, comb my dog, make proclamations to my brood, and all other parts of my day to day living. so i have the distinct location of hearing a lot of what happens across the street from me. i do not try to eavesdrop, i swear. however it is very seductive. the goings on there are tantalizingly invasive and curiosity inducing.

when they moved in, i thought it was some guy and two pitt bull dogs. the guy was some non-descript amalgamation of racially blended heritage and a full bushy black beard. it was summer and hot out... so the commitment to a full on beard had me totally thrown. and then his friends or relatives started to show up. all of them had the same thing going on... droopy drawers and full black beards. short hair up top went with the beards. they looked very much like they ought to be profiled. the difference between someone being or needing to be profiled and this group is that there is a privacy barrier.

someone forgot to mention this to the new guys. if you are profile-worthy, typically it is due to having secrets. these people do not entertain secrets. not at all.
except on the big things. those are topics that are not publicly expressed. it took me months and months and into the years and years category to find out, there was not just a guy with a bushy black beard and his hairy faced acolytes to deal with. nope. this guy had gone to some kind of technical school degree and was educated in the ways of construction management. he was married. he had a small daughter with the aforementioned wife. since the baby was born with all kinds of early health issues, they decided that the wife was best to go out and earn some money, while he stayed home with his daughter.  wow. this sounded so evolved in theory.

the bushy dudes love to come visit in packs. at all hours. they are just wastrels of all kinds. the women associated with them are the worst ever. the wife snarls when she sees me. i enjoy as i get to know them more, that i rarely see the wife. i have NEVER seen the baby girl. i have of course seen the dogs. often too. they are beaujolais and botox. i kid you not. those are their names. ok, maybe i kid a little, but not much. why? cause you just cannot make this shit up. no matter how hard you try.

one nice summer day, i was on my front porch either painting or taking photos. the posse was out front with a few motorbikes and lots of chatter. every third word was one that became very noticeable in lexicology of a certain socio-age-economical collective. it starts with an "N" and is only used in impolite company, in rap songs blaring out of tinted glass windowed cars or by non-white people.
seriously, i think the word becomes so used by this crowd, it loses context and the horror of the O.J. Simpson murder trial.
i was wincing every time these ill mannered youths said it. there is a peculiar phenomenon on this street. sound carries unbelievably well bouncing down between houses on the street. the particular summer day that this was occuring, was no exception. i kept hearing "nigga" this and "nigga" that. if you say it enough, it has no context. it becomes an article in grammar.
the loss of the horror of this word became bothersome to keep hearing... at least to my sensibilities. i shouted across the street to interject myself into the bushy bearded motorcycle revving crowd. i wanted to let them know, i did not appreciate their intrusiveness into my own world.  minding my own business was becoming harder to do. they ignored me. afterall, they were busy creating a pocket of social tastelessness.
not very surprising, but when a fat, grey-haired woman screams that you gotta stop sayin' NIGGA, it draws some attention. funny how that happens. i have not heard it since i started calling  that word on that day.

i described this scene to my kids. my son and daughter number two, aka "thing one" and "thing two" as named by my eldest. i told them how it played out that i was no longer horrified to say the "N"-word. these two uber-white kids i have raised, told me our neighbors were just being ratchet. or was that rachet?
their definition was, folks that are pretending or genuinely not caring about being with the inner city rats and living messy urban lives. i did not get that at first. of course, being me, i looked it up in the dictionary. the urban dictionary that is. now i see that my kids were right. there is both a thing that is rachet as well as ratchet. in the application of my neighbors being grouped as such, it was an error. they are neither rachet/ratchet . they are in fact "ghetto". so "ghetto" in fact they may also overlap with some "rachet".
either way, i dislike the whole thing.
in a huge way.

it amazes me that these little darlings, set upon the world by their own pod-parents, would likely be hugely self satisfied knowing they were considered "ghetto". as it happens, i cannot believe in any manner that they would be thrilled to be considered consolidated jews in Venice, Italy. of course, if they knew the origins of a ghetto, it would mortify them.
1. (n.) A quarantined section of the city where the Jews were forced to live during WWII Germany.

other things that are going up my nose about this collective include the response to their broken doorbell.
friends and relatives pull up and honk their horns to say howdy. or come on down to the sidewalk. i want to snag some drugs, man.
the women are the WORST. i mean THE Everloving WORST! they are ill mannered, cussing, quick tempered crankpots.  what i find amusing is that the males associated with them from the bushyfaced entourage think that they have some control over these nasty gals.
they go off in all kinds of finger wagging, high haired, ill conceived barrages of language and bad mannered entitlement.
i find it utterly intolerable. really, it tweaks my sensibilities fully and completely. what is most inconceivable is that through a myriad of events... the landlord for the house is now the bank. the former owner defaulted on his mortgage. these people are officially squatting and lowering the quality of the neighborhood i used to enjoy.
i resist change at every turn... but having had this group of folks thrust into my world is pretty painful.
so they can make as much unpleasing noise at all hours, drop trash on my front sidewalk, dump car trash and cigarette butts from their cars in front of my home. they pay no rent/mortgage/utilities. my husband worked 3 jobs this week to pay for all  of those god-given(snort) chances fulfilling our mortgage and utility needs.
rodney dangerfields are we. we get NO RESPECT.

 if my umbrage is not heated enough... they put their dogs on the 4'x8' front porch over the front door. the dogs whimper and whine and bark. during one evening last week (concurrent with the first presidential debate), beaujolais dog was whining for 3 1/2 hours. it was raining too. it is all i can do not to call animal services. these two un-neutered pitts are developing some anger issues. i am right there with them too. they get put out in the sun on hot days, rainy days, as well as anytime it is inconvenient to be cared for. i figure their paws are the canine version of overly callused by now to withstand these porch visits. as a dog owner, i object to all of their bad habits. i just can't do much to improve their lives without speaking out to the bush family.

anyways, there is much more to whinge on about... but i wanted to vent some. these folks are ruining my happy hippie flower ju-ju.
to bring things back into my own world and focus... i leave these floral pics as a visual salve to the posting.


earrings & bracelets
Frida style

beady flower necklaces
more Frida style

in pink and brown

 in calico

deep cornflower blue earrings...
sans wires
{they are easier to photograph without the wires}

more things are coming as soon as i get some photos taken.

so i bid you adieu on this crisp autumnal day... as i need to go back to work, teasing a few more pretty blossoms into existence.

bon jour everyone... for now. 


Saturday, September 8, 2012

it is deliciously quiet here today. everyone is where they are supposed to be. two are at their respective colleges as of monday, the widget is at school and the dh is working.
this is prime time to get my own needs met. today has a list of three things to do:
ship some stuff, clean up the house, exercise/walk the dog.

no where on that very short list is grumbling, grinding my molars, or fretting. yet, i am doing all three.
i have my ideal environment in play right now and i am just simmering at upset.
1. the widget is not feeling her best. she has been throwing up nearly every day since before school resumed. she is a driven critter and loves playing both ice and field hockey. also there is the beast that high school is,  to contend with and the cherry on top is a nascent boyfriend situation.
2. someone i placed a lot of faith in over time, has admitted that it is all quid pro quo. and the onus is on me. i do not care how much we are interdependent, but the work being done on my behalf at best is half assed. i am so sad, because i hate when relationships end ... and i fear this one really needs to.
3. my son was very immature last year. i worry how much of the past will repeat itself.
4. it is painful to scrape together money that should be dedicated to things like a new roof or tires to make our car roadworthy... for shows that are not earning their keep for 4 months. it is the way that it goes, but i still have trouble reconciling this.
5. i need to get a RI tax permit. plain and simply, because i hate paying taxes at shows with a temporary permit.
6. some new forms of growth are on my platter... and i need to get over my fears about trying to harness the skills required to feel comfortable about them.
7. i want to learn to do some new things : solder, leather crafting, fimo work.
8. controlling how mad teenaged girls make me is taking a lot of effort; watching my daughter suffer through these lessons is as hard for me to hold back on as it is to watch her live through.
9. with fresh changes to my diet, i no longer can drink my coffee in the morning. i miss this caffeinating ritual with all my heart and hope that all the other alterations will permit me to someday enjoy some grains of sugar within that essential elixir again.

the weather is glorious out, the dog has had a little fun at a park, i have walked, and now it is time to get through the other two legs of my to-do list.

in the mean time... some photos, (already posted on facebook...sorry for this redundancy) of the past weekend's show.
as shows go, this could have been better laid out  physically and better attended.  the glorious sunshine and heat influenced the crowds appearance.  this is absolutely nobody's fault, cause it is part of the outdoor crafters life... you just deal with it.  i too wish to have been at the beach instead of hawking my wares on an asphalt substrate, but i needed the money and exposure. frankly, there is just so much disposable income available for purchasing, so what i was able to capture with my sales was really gratefully appreciated. i never take that lightly.

a smidge of the tablescape

some of my bubblemania style 
companion bracelets

earrings, brooches & 
bubblemania necklaces

shell and pearls
ribbons and flowers
millinery and metals

little earrings 
for the more demure bendywholigans

a collection of minis

hot off the fingertips and pliers...
floral lockets
finally, tiny romantic hideaways 

a wedding necklace for kirsten c-s

beady flower necklaces
turning over to the new season

 a d i e u
a u f   w i e d e r s e h e n
l a t e r   a l l i g a t o r s...


Thursday, August 30, 2012

first day of school again

the first day of school has rolled around again. i drove my daughter to her hell hole. she told me while we sat in bumper to bumper traffic, that she wished she could go back to when she was a freshman. that was when she could walk into the building and not be filled with crazy levels of emotions.  i understand her anxiety. in preparing for this day, i too have had a lot of trepidation.

when i went to high school, i could count on the specific smell of freshly sharpened pencils and it being too hot out to wear one of my newest woolen skirts. now, it is a smell of hair product, new backpacks and some stuff you just can't put your finger on.  i would guess some of that is testosterone and estrogen raging against the machines if i had that chance.

as the usual end of summer panic sets in, my husband entertains notions of saving a crumb of it for his mental scrapbook. his summers are filled with long work days, fresh salads for dinners and weekend travel with the kids. the reality of this is, he plays hockey 2-3 times a week, nods off before some dinner slop is hastily pulled together. he fantasizes and makes do with a couple of days in some NH campsite with the younger smart-ass set.  this is his vacation. mine is when he goes.
they top off this rougher vacation pass by visiting one of his clients and his wife. they  have a lovely vacation home on a lake in NH. i usually take photos of the brood before they strike off in their faux-camping phase. this is just in case i need to have a park ranger find them. fresh photos are a benchmark of this experience.

i enjoy staying home. me and the dog. and whatever child has a scheduling conflict for this 'vacation'.  the hosts of my family (other than the campgrounds) are a very nice, older couple. they are well off and are happy to have my husband and kids visit. they are not interested in my dog... which is great news for me. i have enjoyed the family free experience with glee each time i have had to say no thank you to the invite.
 my hubby does a lot of work for them, and apparently this time through, brought some of it with him. luckily for him, this is an overnighter of a visit. no greater amount of time could be set aside to deal with a dream to-do list.

one of the things that happens on this trip, is that my eldest is called by the wrong name for days on end. she is hugely good natured about it and tries to ignore the whole thing. ignoring is different than planned distraction. she brought her computer, headphones and other stuff with her. i think her strategy will work, since being called holly, kelly, hailey and other variants is not her thing. it is especially pointed as her given name is halley.  she is pleasant enough about it, but it is understandably wearisome. she has other issues on her mind this year. the main one is that she will be returning to college in 3 days. last year she had an apartment 'off campus'; this year she will be enjoying on-campus digs with 3 other living, breathing, digital art majors. they are her friends too.  so she needs to bring less to school with her.  it is obvious, that our basement will remain cluttered for a while longer.

the boy, who has had a bucket list from hell this past year, will be returning to college during the first week of sept.. he has been a snippy, inconsiderate lump a lot this summer. i am looking forward to the end of this miserable version of him. last year he could not wait for us parents to hit the road. this year, i suspect that it will be the other way around.  perhaps having stuff on his now broodish little mind has been as hard for him as it has for me. he claims his current reticence is due to his upgraded social life. i think that there is some truth to this. there is a large component of less contact with his mom and dad is likely to keep him off of our radar more. this strategy may be simple, but effective. he only has 3 1/2 more days to keep things moving along harmoniously. it is possible that he could accomplish his goal.

of course, while i am dragging around town to handle the needs of the now high school sophomore, the boy is being showered with foodie gifts from his hosts as they all rough it together. his hosts prepared a feast of macaroni and cheese with lobster in it for his and his sister halley's(kelly-halle-hailey-holly...) dinner. coming back to the house will undoubtedly fail to meet his newly expanded dreams of real life.

simultaneously, my widget and i were at a sporting goods store. we were on the hunt for a good backpack that said, "i am cool, in spite of wearing this dorky book-toting/supply bag".  her considerations while trying to select a nice accessory included: does this backpack make me look nerdy?  but does it make my butt look big too? just the classics, ma'am, just the classics.

my head hurts from the anxiety of all of these considerations.

in dealing with all the logistics, it is time to make some floral goods. it is the best way i know how to cope with stress. make something.

these are some of my new lockets
with their special hiding place 
behind the flowers

another locket shot

bridging the gap into autumn colors

flying lockets

late day earrings

it smells like autumn coming

time to pack the car to take the eldest to college.
(please forgive my slow posting. it took 3 days to get this written) 

what a week!!


Friday, August 24, 2012

pillow talk

long have i waxed on about my PG rated fantasies here. i am after more hours than i can count, home alone. the silence punctuated by the cyclic running sounds of the air conditioner is simply HEAVEN on EARTH.
miss twentysomething is at work, the boy who likes to aggravate is at work with my husband, the widget is off with her bff at another teammates home. it is just me, the dog and the filthy tumbleweeds here. Is it wrong to say how much i absolutely LOVE IT?
i apologize to all if i am insulting them, or to you reading if you are in a mentally cluttered hell of your own... aka at the merciless whims of others.

this week has been extra sloggy. no real work has been accomplished. just too many things have been going on.

  1. tess' bff is visiting, for high school "hell week". for scheduling reasons above and beyond sensible control, she needed to be in providence, while her family was out of town. they still come and go, as her dad is working and her older sister has the same preseason crap to deal with. still, it made a lot of sense for her to bunk in with us. i am sure when she hits her twenties, we will not have stupid conversations like the one we had this morning.  Me: "k, did you brush your teeth?"  K:" ugh do you think i should?"  Me: "yes, you probably should".  {who is fifteen and doesn't know this yet? also who is fifteen and occasionally likes boys? also, who is fifteen and had me go pick her up at her house because she forgot her toothbrush there days ago? who is fifteen and has dropped a lot of IQ points just cause her head is not filled with life crap yet? the answer to all of these questions is K, she is fifteen.}
  2. son had work to do that actually tired him out. it included a trip to the DMV, which translated to 3 hours of sitting around with the milk and honey of Rhode Island car drivers. i can easily say, it is air conditioned adequately, so that would not have been a travesty for me to do. the point of being there was to get a car registered. one with power steering, all 4 doors that open and close, windows that open and close from each spot in the car. a gas cap that is attached to the car... not one that can fly off the trunk if you forget to screw it back in to its proper place after pumping gas.   Also the boy had to wait around for something else that day, an alarm company, and the end all be all was at the tire store. we needed to replace all 4 tires on the car to make it safely drivable. when we returned home to have dinner, all passive aggressive eyes look to me, to figure out what it is for common dinner. what ensued was a great grand group of misadventures. my son was watching "LOST" reruns. i was tired and as hungry as everyone else. i was talking to him and he was not amused. he wanted to become one with the sofa. eventually, he got annoyed enough to do the following. text me this message: "STFU".  this simple acronym spurred me into insanity. hurt and rage do not cover my emotional wealth at that moment. for those of you not into stupid stuff, this means:  "shut the fuck up''.  die child of mine for saying such a thing to your mother and suggesting/lying to say you meant to say it to your little sister. we both know you did not. 
  3. husband bought me a moving sofa when i started to drive. it may have been around $7oo. it was a navy colored buick lesabre. it had single seats for the front and back that were both covered in plush velveteen material. the car industry kind. in return,  my paycheck automatically deducted money to pay off a loan we took for a red 1985 mustang. husband wanted a muscle car baaad. we had no kids then. however, the car fell into disrepair as we fell into having children. it has sat in the driveway for nearly 20 years. earlier this summer there were columbines growing out from under its wheels. i loved that. i have been heard to say, i am one bad tattoo away from being officially poor white trash.  rarely do we enjoy all of our utilities working at the same time... we have too many cars in our one car driveway, the house is small and cramped, and we eat from the lowest pricing of the grocery store a lot. (mostly because two kids in college and a heart attack victim have left me with less choices for serving food and the pocketbook to do it with).  so  yesterday after a summer of father-son bonding, the mustang was fixed up well enough to be sold. it was bittersweet. 
  4. i applied to two shows by the same promoter. he is a swell guy and helps loads of people with his vision of things. sometimes, he gets ahead of things. simultaneously, there is a facebook page that is invite only and filled with info about shows. we of the crafting sort have taken to chatting through this forum.  also, i have had to remind myself many times over, not everyone has the same relationship. so yesterday and the day before, many of the folks on my circuit weighed in on the fact that they had made it into one of the shows i had applied for. now the fees for doing the  show will cost $450 to be paid up front for december dates. not only is this inconvenient, but it is gonna set me back to square one for a while.  this having been said, one of the members of our crafty tribe announced that she was in! this was done publicly on our facebook forum. many others ensued. i am not trying to be a bitch, but not everyone heard their news. so it was upsetting since i was one that hadn't gotten the word yet. i tried not to say STFU but it was eating at me. eventually i did say something about this on the fb page.  really, everyone should be told at the same time. also the artists that were in, should NOT have crowed about it. adulthood and grace should have inserted itself to say, not until everyone knows. this is what private messages are for. 
so i am if nothing a bit grumpy. between this and wanting some sugar really badly while i got a full body set of hives in response to my insulin meds... well grumpy just begins to cover that mess.
today's silence is heaven on earth. i am enjoying it to the max. hell, i may even take a shower and vacuum finally. luxurious style isn't it?

why did i call this post "PILLOW TALK"?
in my mind's eye, i have developed a line of sofa pillows that i call Pillow Talk. they have sayings needlepointed onto them. kind of like on my great grandma emma's sofa and living room chairs. you know the ones... they never got soiled because they were covered in plastic sheathing? yep. 
to balance these leg-sticking covers, i want to do a bunch of pillows for my sofa. 

clearly a forerunner as of this week is 

a second choice is one holding my family crest on it...
an ostrich with its head under ground. 
surrounded with midievel heraldry symbols and a shield. 
this represents the inability of all my family to deal with shit head on. 

the third is a quote from the chairman MAO...
"it is always darkest before it goes completely black."

surely, there are other choices, but i am now tired and not gonna list them. i am gonna take another leg to my nappage with the getting is good. 


fresh flowers are drying as i write this. 
soon my pretties... we will be ready to harvest a new batch. 
and they will become new lockets. 
in two sizes 
and two metal colors. 
hands are rubbing together in glee here!

green tea rose

chambray flower

sunset rose

peace rose


Wednesday, August 22, 2012

a summer-free summer

this summer never got off the ground. it was filled with a lot of going to and fro to places that were deemed essential for making things go forward. not enough of it was dedicated to relaxation, fresh lazy meals and seeing my intact brood all together.

instead i had little sleep and weird dreams to fill that in. like just tonight's dreams were filled with two of my friends coming to visit my tree house home and wrecking their car as well as my tender edifice as they tried to move off of a porch outcropping. ok, i know, weird as all heck. still it was a dream.

in fact, yesterday should have been composed in blocs of time. not regular ones like minutes and seconds, but just chunks. that was the way it was dedicated to being.

  1.  first bloc, take one child to field hockey practice... for preseason{day 2};
  2.  take bff to another location for another sport preseason practice {morning day 2} at an hour later... her ride forgot to come get her;
  3.  an hour later, pick up first child who is now melting down over not having a copy of her well dr.'s annual visit report from last year; pick up guest child from remote practice location; 
  4. meeting a friend for coffee since i have a gift for her and have not seen her all summer;
  5. interim between meeting and pickup of kids, go to dr's office to find a copy of medical records. told that it takes 3-5 business days. if non-official report is given, it is  immediately available. small victory cheering ensues.
  6. rush to meet friend for coffee and sit. evidently one of us is in the a/c and the other is baking in the sun on the patio. both considered late. 
  7. meet husband and son to switch cars and be left at husband's client's home to wait for ADT, the alarm people. they are scheduled to come from 1-3 pm to change a battery in their carbon monoxide alarm. 
  8. two hours later, no internet service, no ipad battery left, one magazine read, no ADT sighting, husband and son return from using car to client's house. we switch autos again. husband and son are in said car, arguing in the post driver's test passing mode. should be exciting time for kid, but he has as always, pissed off the dad. passing his test was accomplished with many caveats. 
  9. run south on highway to get food and layaway for child three. preparation for second athletic event of day. pick up jock clothing at store and find a rarity: cute shoes for me! shorty cowboy boots in red and black. perfect for upcoming long skirt and jeans weather. not real cowboy boots, but a nice inexpensive facsimile. 
  10. guest child goes to second pre-season practice of day, my own child gets to go to second athletic event of day... summer hockey season semi-final game. 
  11. as girls get their second practices accomplished, a buyer comes to look at a red mustang that has been residing in driveway for 20 yrs in all different states of disuse. the boy is again moping, since his bedroom overlooked it in the driveway. his personal dreams to fix it up and drive it, now dashed. the car has sold to a neighbor's friend. it is part of making me really poor white trash anyways, so i am glad to see income generated from its sale and space freed up in the driveway. 
  12. guest child gets ride home and is sporting a sprained ankle. practice was great. a teammate stepped on her ankle after she rolled it during practice.  she is staying with us, since her pediatrician dad and his dad, a pulmonary specialist are on the cape vacationing together. no help here... we are out of ibuprofen. ice packs are applied. 
  13. people are pissed that i haven't mailed stuff out. don't know when i would have found the time to be that efficient. 
  14. light is perfect outside, so a few photos of new floral lockets get snapped
  15. dinner, made in tandem by the boy and me. pasta, sauce, coleslaw. 
  16. waiting for eldest to get out of work at 10:30 pm. to give a ride home. 
  17. edit locket photos while awaiting trip to get eldest from work. 
  18. no ibuprofen in house for guest child who has foot propped up and is exhausted from practices. 
  19. finally start work day. totally tired myself. throw in towel and deal with insulin. now hives of days ago, finally gone. only one to remain is on right thumb. what is that all about?
  20. give up and promise to make a fresh start on next day. 
  21. sleep.
rinse and repeat. 

after all, it is 'hell week' at the high school. 
why not here too?
 just another day in my life.
 jam packed and all over the place. 
not truly productive.

locket photos are as follows:

closed locket

open locket

maybe i can catch a few more minutes of sleep, now that it is quiet here again?
i am going to give it the old college try. 


Saturday, August 18, 2012

growing flowers & growing up

too much is packed into any single day. this is what has happened after my introduction to and acceptance of computers. i live by my own within arms reach by the way... so i am a big part of the problem. ok, perhaps i mean addiction. the real thing of it is, as much as it would be really swell to slow down to appreciate the little things in life, it is really hard to do just that. 

for 15 years, we have belonged to a swim club. it is a little place in the middle of the woods in seekonk, ma. i have hated, loved, sunned,  laughed, reveled in, swam, played in sand and on tennis courts, cooked for the masses from the snack bar and for my own little family and many other time frittering activities . it has been a lifesaver and a pain in the ass. what it has most been, is the touch stone for my kids to grow up in. they learned to swim here. my daughter met her best friend here. my son fell smitten to a girl's charms for the first time here. my little girl nursed under a tree here. it has held a lot of my own life and social fabric over the years, i met several of my dearest friends here. 

sometimes you simply outgrow that which is dearest to you. for this i am horribly sad. my youngest, who visited in utero for her first time, said this to me this week. it is sad, but i think i need to relinquish my death grip on my membership there. i need to grow up some too. 

these days, my work is what makes me move around and forward. i am totally invested in varied components of its day to day workings. i need electricity and the internet and a charged camera to keep moving things along. in spite of using mostly hand held tools and low tech methodology, periodically, i need the comforts of my own digs. additionally, i have a lot of stock i like to draw upon, to create stuff with. bringing all of it along to supervise my children at the pool is no longer as easy as it once was. 
there are also many commitments that pull me from place to place as i move from craft show to open air art gigs. i know i am changing little by little, but it is with bittersweet sadness that it happens. 

i guess having two kids in college should have been a wake-up call, but i do not like change. even if it is very slow,  methodical and so subtle that it has gone unnoticed.  i think i just need to accept that i have changed already. dangitall. 

my body has developed diabetes, which is totally controllable as i tweak medicines around, exercise more and eat healthier.  my blood pressure which was a little scary high a month ago, is now in a very nice place. i have two friends who make cool belts and i would love to wear them... so this belly fat has GOT to go.  it is time to cede to the personal needs and adjust for the second half of my life. even if i am doing it while kicking and screaming all the way. 

in the mean time, i shall be fiddling with my floral pieces. trying out fresh garden themes and wearing them to the supermarkets around town. how else would i get ambient feedback and maintain a reputation for eccentricity?  i would love to be as adventuresome as iris apfel and create gobsmacking style as i convert oxygen to carbon dioxide. perhaps i already have started. call me a grandma moses wannabe.  costume jewelry addiction is my medium.  i would love to take a page from my own sensibilities and be as innovative as some have suggested my own jewelry style infers. to live what i fantasize; new goals are to be dreamt of, striven for  and hopefully achieved.  i always am facing some personal challenge or another. perhaps just trying to take them in stride is the only way i can move along as the slip stream of life pushes me forward. 

this week, in a post block island show aftermath, i worked on several different things. 
the first of which was repairing my depleted stock. secondly, was the joy of reconnecting with a few of my wholesale customers. i spent time on line at the DMV, which is one of the seven circles of hell that Dante described. it was nothing in comparison to the undescribed eighth circle also known as Walmart. 
i did make it to the swim club for my 3rd time this summer with tess and one of her friends... so that was good. And, i made the following bracelets. i think this week has been pretty full. 

these are some of the chain bracelets 
that are popular with all kinds of ladies...

i spent a lot of time watching the block island guests 
flow in and out
while making stuff to refill my trays.
these were part of that collection... 

more of the boldly patterned flower-fete

if in doubt, make a pearl necklace.
loads of future brides come to Block Island to check it out.
one never knows if a statement necklace is part of that.

speaking of brides and stuff... 
my pal from the craft circuit requested a necklace for her special day. 
this is what ensued. 

fresh earrings

 it is time to do some work, sorting, storing, making fresh space for glorious things. i have been stocking up like a crazy person for the holiday season. i bought a lot of gorgeous vintage new old stock lucite beads. their colors made me feel as if they were made just for me. this next week or two will be spent playing with them... in new combinations. bright, happy, fun-filled mixtures. they will be paired with my autumnal palette of flowers and really,  i just can't wait! 

adieu for now... xoxo.w.

Monday, July 30, 2012

odometer check...

Yesterday it was my birthday
I hung one more year on the line
I should be depressed
My life's a mess
But I'm having a good time

so often, people sing happy birthday in that ever present way that the iconic song regales millions with. 
me, i am a little different. no i do not sing the Beatles version of  their birthday song either. although i have had the joy of hearing it or trying to sing it many times before. my fave lyric is the one from paul simon..." Yesterday it was my birthday... i hung one more year on the line."

somehow, i enjoy this day after celebration internally more than i do the outer hoopla one. 
i know, i represent the lion, lioness and her cubs as a full on member of the LEO birthday club. i just like to be a little bit um, behind the scenery with it all. most who know me, are sufferers, enjoyers, marvellors, appreciators, contributors, humorers, supporters, and other -er/-ors of one kind or another around my admittedly large personality. inwardly, i am more of a shy person. can you believe that? well, every interaction is a step out of my shell.  just because i practice all the time does not make this secret of mine untrue. 

the excitement about my birthday is an acme of attention. i tend to be overly nervous about its impending arrival, endure the day and celebrate the day after, when my odometer has kicked over once again.  i am most nervous about how its celebration is going to be played out. every damn time. and who might you think makes me so nervous? my own family. 
just to clarify, my husband, kids and dog rock the casbah. they 'get' me pretty well.  i cannot emphasize how much i appreciate this. i also am touched so very deeply by the many emails and lovely facebook friends i have cultivated from internet introductions as well as real live honest to god people i know, love and admire. 

so what is it that makes this shift of gears so impressively unpredictable? my own family that i grew up with. they are the oddest people i may ever know.  i am grateful that i had them as instructors in life.  it is the opportunity to flee that nest and survive without support from them, that allows me to be open to a lot of other interests and people. 
they never got me... or if they did, they did not like what i had to offer. i am now and have always been the black sheep of my family {or am i the lone white sheep?}.  it is sad as hell to say or think  this every time i do so. yet it is a constant in my experiences. just like the forces of gravity and sunrising in the east,  i can count on their disappointing me. it is too bad, because, i am feeling like i have a great amount to offer and a considerate heart to share it with.  all this in stride, it makes having the families that i have been lucky to have collated and  collected over my life so very much dearer to me. 
in case you were unaware of how much my friends mean to me... i am utterly indebted to them for the many lessons and the love that they have shared with me.  its value is inestimable. 

so to my mom, my stepfather, my father, my brothers, my half sister, half brother, nieces and nephews, i thank you for the lessons. i am grateful that you instructed me that i could find a lot of real people that are so much more for so much less... and i share with you the love that i have. someday, i hope you are able to unlock your crazy, find what you think is missing  and enjoy good luck trying to figure that all out. 
 "I should be depressed
My life's a mess
But I'm having a good time"!

thank you's all around to my sweet real bunch of coconuts... chris for taking me to and from my SOWA show yesterday... and being the peach of a guy i married... 28 yrs ago...
hal, for saying about 4hundred bazillion times, Happy Birthday and Have a good day! in your chronically cheerful way. 
graham for sending me a text and saying how sorry you were for forgetting my birthday, then proving it by trying to make an angel food cake in a boondt pan. 
tess for just being her wiseass self and making me watch the olympics... which were so worth watching. 
and the dog for his faithful and continuing shedding everywhere. (he is purportedly a non-shedding breed of pedigreed mutt!).

truly, i had a great day! i made some moolarooni at the show. AND heard from gabillions of really beloved what could be better?
not much. 


things i made and sold this week, in no particular order. 
when life hands you lemons...make some lemonade.

{spoken for}

lightly updated
{spoken for}


fresh earrings: 


fresh BuBBleMaNiA necklace

fresh BuBBleMaNiA bracelets

a cuff...

and some PEACE, LOVE, Dove, and Flora

byPaul Simon:

Yesterday it was my birthday
I hung one more year on the line
I should be depressed
My life's a mess
But I'm having a good time

I've been loving and loving
And loving
I'm exhausted from loving so well
I should go to bed
But a voice in my head
Says "Ah, what the hell"

Have a good time

Paranoia strikes deep in the heartland
But I think it's all overdone
Exaggerating this and exaggerating that
They don't have no fun

I don't believe what I read in the papers
They're just out to capture my dime
I ain't worrying
And I ain't scurrying
I'm having a good time

Have a good time

Maybe I'm laughing my way to disaster
Maybe my race has been run
Maybe I'm blind
To the fate of mankind
But what can be done?

So God bless the goods we was given
And God bless the U.S. of A.
And God bless our standard of livin'
Let's keep it that way
And we'll all have a good time

Have a good time