Monday, July 30, 2012

odometer check...

Yesterday it was my birthday
I hung one more year on the line
I should be depressed
My life's a mess
But I'm having a good time

so often, people sing happy birthday in that ever present way that the iconic song regales millions with. 
me, i am a little different. no i do not sing the Beatles version of  their birthday song either. although i have had the joy of hearing it or trying to sing it many times before. my fave lyric is the one from paul simon..." Yesterday it was my birthday... i hung one more year on the line."

somehow, i enjoy this day after celebration internally more than i do the outer hoopla one. 
i know, i represent the lion, lioness and her cubs as a full on member of the LEO birthday club. i just like to be a little bit um, behind the scenery with it all. most who know me, are sufferers, enjoyers, marvellors, appreciators, contributors, humorers, supporters, and other -er/-ors of one kind or another around my admittedly large personality. inwardly, i am more of a shy person. can you believe that? well, every interaction is a step out of my shell.  just because i practice all the time does not make this secret of mine untrue. 

the excitement about my birthday is an acme of attention. i tend to be overly nervous about its impending arrival, endure the day and celebrate the day after, when my odometer has kicked over once again.  i am most nervous about how its celebration is going to be played out. every damn time. and who might you think makes me so nervous? my own family. 
just to clarify, my husband, kids and dog rock the casbah. they 'get' me pretty well.  i cannot emphasize how much i appreciate this. i also am touched so very deeply by the many emails and lovely facebook friends i have cultivated from internet introductions as well as real live honest to god people i know, love and admire. 

so what is it that makes this shift of gears so impressively unpredictable? my own family that i grew up with. they are the oddest people i may ever know.  i am grateful that i had them as instructors in life.  it is the opportunity to flee that nest and survive without support from them, that allows me to be open to a lot of other interests and people. 
they never got me... or if they did, they did not like what i had to offer. i am now and have always been the black sheep of my family {or am i the lone white sheep?}.  it is sad as hell to say or think  this every time i do so. yet it is a constant in my experiences. just like the forces of gravity and sunrising in the east,  i can count on their disappointing me. it is too bad, because, i am feeling like i have a great amount to offer and a considerate heart to share it with.  all this in stride, it makes having the families that i have been lucky to have collated and  collected over my life so very much dearer to me. 
in case you were unaware of how much my friends mean to me... i am utterly indebted to them for the many lessons and the love that they have shared with me.  its value is inestimable. 

so to my mom, my stepfather, my father, my brothers, my half sister, half brother, nieces and nephews, i thank you for the lessons. i am grateful that you instructed me that i could find a lot of real people that are so much more for so much less... and i share with you the love that i have. someday, i hope you are able to unlock your crazy, find what you think is missing  and enjoy good luck trying to figure that all out. 
 "I should be depressed
My life's a mess
But I'm having a good time"!

thank you's all around to my sweet real bunch of coconuts... chris for taking me to and from my SOWA show yesterday... and being the peach of a guy i married... 28 yrs ago...
hal, for saying about 4hundred bazillion times, Happy Birthday and Have a good day! in your chronically cheerful way. 
graham for sending me a text and saying how sorry you were for forgetting my birthday, then proving it by trying to make an angel food cake in a boondt pan. 
tess for just being her wiseass self and making me watch the olympics... which were so worth watching. 
and the dog for his faithful and continuing shedding everywhere. (he is purportedly a non-shedding breed of pedigreed mutt!).

truly, i had a great day! i made some moolarooni at the show. AND heard from gabillions of really beloved what could be better?
not much. 


things i made and sold this week, in no particular order. 
when life hands you lemons...make some lemonade.

{spoken for}

lightly updated
{spoken for}


fresh earrings: 


fresh BuBBleMaNiA necklace

fresh BuBBleMaNiA bracelets

a cuff...

and some PEACE, LOVE, Dove, and Flora

byPaul Simon:

Yesterday it was my birthday
I hung one more year on the line
I should be depressed
My life's a mess
But I'm having a good time

I've been loving and loving
And loving
I'm exhausted from loving so well
I should go to bed
But a voice in my head
Says "Ah, what the hell"

Have a good time

Paranoia strikes deep in the heartland
But I think it's all overdone
Exaggerating this and exaggerating that
They don't have no fun

I don't believe what I read in the papers
They're just out to capture my dime
I ain't worrying
And I ain't scurrying
I'm having a good time

Have a good time

Maybe I'm laughing my way to disaster
Maybe my race has been run
Maybe I'm blind
To the fate of mankind
But what can be done?

So God bless the goods we was given
And God bless the U.S. of A.
And God bless our standard of livin'
Let's keep it that way
And we'll all have a good time

Have a good time

1 comment: