social media has taken over my life

i had a brief and extremely flattering week a few years ago. 

my flowers that i was selling were going gangbusters on etsy. 

so much so, that i was able to buy my own computer. 

it was a supremely exciting period for me. 

every good thing has an equal and opposite sorta crummy reaction. 

at least it does in my world. 

my delight in selling flowers that i had labored over enormously to 

find

select

purchase

wash

colorize

mix

match

photograph

post on etsy

sell

ship 

and start to do all over again...

were selling like proverbial hotcakes. 

the sad thing of it all was that one woman was purchasing them for her own artworks. 

i was curious about her plans for all of the flowers. 

 she told me that she had had a horrific car accident. 

her ability to remember what she already had purchased was kind of altered. 

she also told me that she bought as many as she could,

 since they reminded her of her own mother.

her mom had recently passed away and she was grieving. 

her head was not right from the accident either. 

she was getting all of the flowers she could, to share with her two daughters.

it was so that they could make things together and reminisce about her mom

 bonding all the way.

i was touched by her sentiments. 

 i wanted to help my own family. 

i neededto be able to buy groceries and 

pay for some basic household bills too.

then i had another customer from Turkey. 

she told me that she wanted my flowers for a certain price. 

it was one i could not sell flowers for.

i would not only be out of money for my time invested,

but also for the flowers themselves. 

it is sort of understandable, 

that she wanted somethings for the prices she determined would work for her.

it just was not possible for me to handle. 

we finally made an agreement for some part of her order to be deeply discounted. 

i never felt good about it. 

the thing was, that the woman from Turkey

 said she could get flowers just like mine from other places. 

 like the utterly naive person i was it seemed impossible to do that.

 i tended my work so diligently and secretively.

  i did a short search on ebay for vintage enamel flowers. 

DAMN!!!!

it was true. 

flowers just like mine could be found on ebay. 

as a matter of fact, all the flowers i had sold to the brain injured woman were there. 

i cried a little. 

i ranted a lot. 

i was so angry. 

i paced. 

i yelled. 

it was awful. 

so very, very awful. 

my betrayal went hand in hand with my naivete. 

immediately, 

i stopped selling flowers to the crafty brain woman. 

i confronted her. 

it was a mass of lies in return. 

she was making tons of money. 

and i felt the fool for accepting her at her word. 

it still stings. 

lesson learned. 

i never took my blooms to ebay to sell either. 

it just wasn't my way.

the outcome of this experience was that i got a good ass whooping.

also i had accumulated some money to purchase this 

 faithful and beloved workhorse of a computer. 

it sure has had its moments, but for all purposes, it has been such a great tool. 

now i enjoy my day starting with a tour of my favorite social media. 

websites are investigated. 

photos are drooled over. 

i talk to my friends worldwide. 

near and far, i am connected. 

many days, 

i feel more connected to folks than if i were sitting in the room with them.

in spite of the series of emotions experienced through my flower selling days, 

i now get to develop friendships and nurture my business

 through the many faces of social media

and other internet driven experiences. 

everything is a tradeoff somehow. 

even steven mostly. 

and 

i have survived some crazy crap. 

thanks to my friends, customers, kids, etc. 

the computer is my friend and helps me stay in touch.

(my husband remains pretty computer illiterate other than tending his emails...

his choice.)

xoxo.

W.