opposites are attractive.

i met a most smashing woman through my business ventures. 

she contacted me. 

not at all sure how she found me, but i couldn't be happier that she did. 

we spent a little time back and forth on the internet in conversations. 

it yielded a very opulent necklace that she had in mind. 

i now know what she has in her mind's eye is not only very specific, but also very beautiful. 

i am filled with gratitude that she has allowed me to attempt to execute her ideas

using my hands and personal skills and materials. 

the blending of our two systems is quite wonderful. 

she is a chef. 

her work is sublime. 

a dream she holds, is of achieving her first michelin star... soon. 

i am sure that it is merely a stepping stone to her other dreams. 

here is a photo of one of her desert pieces. 

it is a pakastani mango pavlova. 

forgive me everyone, i took isadora's photo of it and transferred it here. 

it is really food porn of the highest degree. 

it is lovely looking in its original photo form albeit dark. now it looks singed...

my apologies.

i just wanted to show you what she is a creator of in her own world. 

the original necklace was a confabulation of golden and pearly items. 

also some creamy white, black and vintage whites. 

it came out like this... 

and wound up looking like this for one of her magazine ads. 

now we are working on an opposite kind of necklace. one that is as black and copper 

as this is pearly, creamy and golden. 

it is always good to manipulate beautiful things to try to get an artful expression 

that is up to the task of shining just a smidge more with its components reconstructed. 

at least that is my goal. 

then there is this...

a black confection that is underway. 

this is good so far, but not as the eye of its designer sees it. 

so its flowers have been replanted and otherwise configured. 

the dream is to be more faithful to its owner's vision. 

that requires more thought

with greater experimentation. 

wishing myself luck on this... and perhaps a fresher sense of balance. 

gotta give it a fresh pass.
so after a few days of painting, planning, organizing,
unpinning, re-pinning,
editing and repurposing,
a fresh layout looked like this.

most things of a brassy nature were removed.
i had no idea that things would look ok.
i thought it was too monolithic.
of course, i was rueful.
the lack of brassy bits to pop some third color around
made it seem very flat and lacking in depth.

it was what isadora wanted though.
if i am nothing else, i am pretty interested in compliance.

i like making folks happy with their jewelry.
it isn't always easy.

the last photo pass of the necklace on a form yielded this result.
it is pretty good to my eye and any failure of depth for the piece went away
the second i added some Swarovski Jet Rhinestones.
do not ever underestimate the transformative value of bling in the right place at the right time.

nor should a quick pic on a contrasting background be devalued.
recently my husband suggested that i should be using black velvet to display my goods.
i feel much more honest with the use of chippy, scratched up, whitish wooden background for photos.
luckily, my house and props are in just that state of deshabille.
i might cry if someone goes to repair the look of some things around her.

as i go to the kitchen to clean and clear our dinner platitudes...
i offer you some of my work to be evaluated.
something like that of course....

now time for
a little goddessry of womanly efforts.
dishes need to be laundered for the morning as everyone here takes it.
with or without cream.

xoxo
w.

chucking it all.

i have a little problem. 

loads of little things everywhere. 

and as they seem to coalesce, they grow into ugly big things. 

its like that episode of STARTREK:

the trouble with tribbles. 

first you have one little tribble and it is cute as all heck. 

then it reproduces and a population explosion is off and running. 

 soon, every little corner is overrun with tribbles. 

and jump rings, 

single bad earrings, 

and dog hair with dust intertwined in it. 

is is a problem. 

by the time i get around to dealing with it, 

i fantasize along the same lines as my mr. does. 

the idea of a small dumpster in the driveway starts to look very appealing. 

of course, the more of the stuff i sort through and send to the dumpster, or trash bins, 

is better. 

so i tossed a huge bag of crap and dog hair and dust out tonight. 

it was the tip of the iceberg. 

i also went through our collection of a gazillion video-cassettes. 

they are to be taken to the library. 

ASAP.

this could mean whenever...

i probably will be a while, since there has been a small car crisis brewing. 

during the last winter, we had a small snow accumulation that let to a 

very white pile of snow for about 15 minutes. 

this blanket covered our driveway with a pretty and pristine blanketing of whiteness. 

i was backing into the driveway less well than i should have . 

end result of said effort was that i caught the underside of my car's fender on a 

stump waiting to be ground out as removal. 

i wound up ripping the structural underpinning of that rear part of my car

so that the fender now dangles on that side... and it does dangle freely. 

this has made all kinds of driving, a new challenge. 

there was also a wet spot on the floor of the driver's interior. 

i was asked if i had poured water onto the floor. 

not really. 

now i have a fat weird wet spot. 

turns out that liquid is a little oily and in being of that disposition, i was able to not take the blame for it. 

it is a several hundred dollar repair... 

one that is not in my future i fear. 

what's new pussycat?

i admit up front, i am a big fan of facebook. 

somehow you either like facebook or you don't.

my husband is challenged in many ways. 

this list is long and incomprehensible. 

topping that list is use of a computer. 

in a secondary position, is the understanding of social networking
and its power. 

like i said, you either get it or you don't. 

i am challenged by the idea of what could be the best way to get myself and 

my jewelry 'out there'. 

one of the many, many efforts in this past year or so, has been to do some craft shows. 

they are really hard work for me. 

not that other folks don't work really hard at them too, or feel frustrated by them,
 but i take too much of it so personally. 

honestly, i do know that i shouldn't do that.
it is so obvious that i should let it go,
like the ole hippie i am.
it isn't easy enough to do.

it is part of the radish in me. 

what the heck does that mean?

my mother used to call me a radish. 

i would ask her, but i am really afraid of what she meant.
 the only answer ever i ever got,
was that she found me to be 

someone who put down a root where i was planted.

it was not one of those flimsy, delicate ones that could be yanked from the soil. 

nope. it was a fat spicy subterranean one. 

one that had to be pulled when it was fully ripe and tasty. 

at least that was what i thought she meant. 

ok, i mean that i hope she meant that. 

i like to think of myself as a homebody. 

not as invested as an agoraphobic, but definitely one who enjoys my own comforts. 

part of that comfort is being amid a lot of my own surroundings. 

when i get into a cleaning mode

(less and less frequently as time passes)

i enjoy making vignettes. 

my crap has a purpose i tell ya!

these days, i feel a large amount of pressure to corral some of the crap better. 

apparently, my overflowing messiness is responsible for my kids' lack of guest visitors. 

{my cfo suggested that recently and in highly indelicate terms. }

of course, i would love to do a house party here  a couple of times a year. 

he objects to this, since he is sure that things will take flight 

or 

people will see where we live. 

i think he is nuts. 

i know all the folks i would invite to a house party. 

it would also give me a fantastic reason to clean this place up especially well.

instead, 

i must bargain with my son, 18 in every imaginable way to help me go to craft shows. 

he wants to have a girlfriend, a nice car, country western music to croak along with, 

a solid and predictable paycheck, a hot car, limitless gadgets, and great kicks,

etc. 

if i promise a meal in exchange for his help, it ought to be more than enough. 

i do plan to pay for some of his tuition,
as well as the braces that have been off of his teeth for a bit. 

also his sister's tuition and her vacated braces take a chunk of my income. 

and the sundry things like internet service, food, pool fees, dog kibble 

and my own crap{supplies}. 

so i use his skills to help me with shows. 

i am too lazy i suggest. 

or else i have become a lot more frightened of the failure aspect. 

either way... 

i have been trying to do them this year.
also he is a lot stronger than i am and can lug stuff with less repercussions. 

it is a personal struggle. 

a huge need to keep developing as an artist, a display creator, a fabricator, 

a business person, a roadie and a mom. 

a lot is expected from one measly day's efforts. 

and really that is a lot of pressure to try to deal with. 

if there were not so many people in this asylum, 

i think i might get more done. 

but perhaps already, too much is getting done... and the results are therefore diluted?

it is hard to say. 

***

yesterday, graham and i went to the greenway open market. 

it is on the rose kennedy greenway in boston. 

the tall ships were in port as well as many seamen from the navy. 

it was supposed to be a kick ass day at the show. 

this is a weekly recurring show that is held every saturday from late may til october.

it was 93 degrees out at 4pm. 

we had been there since 7:40 am. 

it was flipping HOT out. 

so hot, that folks just walked by all the tents lined up and they just kept moving. 

i would have done that too in their shoes.
the delicate balance of movement, speed and need for air conditioning 

would have made need for things to be as economical and efficient as possible. 

there was a small flurry of sales around 3:30

and then nada. 

my day was made, at the last moment, selling a co-vendor pal of mine a bracelet she had coveted.

it is not easy to plan, fill inventory, beg a teenaged son to come with, sleep, 

get all the details organized, set up and break down the temporary digs 

and drive home (safely).

and many many of my friends do this task rotation every weekend. 

many of them come from neighboring states to participate. 

all of us have other things we could be doing... 

such as hanging with our families, 

going to the beach, 

taking boat rides with friends, 

hitting the links, 

hitting the flea markets, 

hitting the trashy novels

visiting the tall ships ourselves....

or any other complement of fun things normal people do. 

instead...

my more intrepid friends, do this whole dance both saturdays AND all over again on sundays. 

weenie that i am. 

read:  LAZY RADISH

and you will hear that i wimped out on doing two day shows per weekend. 

for one time only, i did the right thing. 

tremendous rains and thunderstorms hit the boston area today. 

i feel awful bitching about working in the heat yesterday. 

there was not only heat,

 but dangerous weather to follow it during the sunday half of the show weekend. 

my congratulations to all who sold and got out unfettered. 

you are my heroes. 

i wish  that i had the stones to do better in these moments. 

but shows are quirky. 

no two are alike. 

sometimes you do well and sometimes you don't.
and the lazy radish is not good under any adversity. 

as for my upcoming plans? 

i will again be at the greenway next saturday. 

something has got to give. 

and i sure as hell hope it isn't me.
i think that i am going to subscribe to the theory:
the third time is the charm.  

here is what my little tent looked like yesterday. 

table on the right

table on the left

people watching was as fun as any other day, 

but today someone was blowing up balloons for children somewhere nearby. 

a little boy strolling in his carriage carried this rather large balloon straight out in front, 

as a huge penis along his route. 

when i snapped his pic in passing, he had moved it. 

i was super amused as i watched. 

my son giggled too. 

it is the little things in life that amuse me... 

my next tent over pal,

erica walker

helped me out and modeled this pink confection of pearls and beads. 

at the end of a long day, she looked fresh. 

i have NO idea how she did it, but i was appreciative of her help. 

as for other random moments in this day, 

my son moved into my friend trish's space to hang with her. 

it did not hurt one whit that her beauty of a daughter was along for the day too. 

of course caroline came to watch my tent as i came over to gab with trish.

everyone needs a little break. 

here is miss caro 

helping the bendywho cause. 

and here is a sweet customer that took her time selecting the right pair of earrings. 

i think she made them look extra good. 

finally, since i have prattled on for too long... 

here is a close-up of a smattering of many little doodads all together
for show and tell.

next time i may regale you with some of the new earrings i made. 

they are pretty fun, if i do say so myself. 

as a tease, this is one of those pairs. 

i am thinking of sending to someone

 who is having a really crap time of things these days. 

i think she needs a little pick-me-up...

now is a good time to let  weekendy things go ...

tomorrow holds fresh challenges. 

15 of my youngest daughter's friends from her lacrosse team

are invited to come here and tie-dye their high school team shirts. 

we have dye, but no rubber bands, gloves, buckets, etc. 

we do have a fence that i want to hang them all on. 

i suppose there may be some pizza too... 

gotta feed the gals... 

and maybe my son will see some of his old feminine pals from high school too. 

oh it is always busy in this hive i call home. 

xoxo.

w.

best ring tone choice ever

today after days of fighting with my husband... 

cause talking is not satisfying enough, 

he apologized. 

he said to me: 

"i am sorry i have been such an asshole recently. "

i want this as my ringtone on my phone. 

i haven't been this exasperated in years. 

glad we made some headway. 

most of the happier women i know are single. 

needless to say, it is an option. 

just do not want to take it. 

so i enjoyed fantasizing about what crap i could throw out from the house. 

one of the big complaints is that there is too much stuff in this crackerbox. 

it is legitimate as complaints go. 

so i am willing to take a fresh stab at it. 

also, with more space available, i think i can get smarter. 

more oxygen to the brain will help this dream. 

in the mean time, i am making a fresh necklace. 

photos in the daylight will surely describe it better. 

it is one of my oldest and dearest styles. 

it has been made in so very many combinations that i should have numbered them 

to show the versatility of the style. 

here it is in multiple shapes, sizes, colorways and materials. 

i wonder if i even have one anymore. 

i sell them straight off of my neck often enough. 

well off to the pliers and fantasizing about my fresh ringtone. 

i bet everyone wishes they could have their husband actually apologize and 

be reasonable in their complaints. 

one ringy dingy,,, two ringy dingies....

xoxo.

w. 

rough riding

as surely as i know the sun will rise in the east and set in the west, 

i know june is going to be a bad month. 

at least for me it is. 

my husband has a myriad of health issues. 

one of which is minor, but changes the entire temperature and texture of my life. 

he has allergies. 

his allergies are significant enough to make taking shots for them a decent solution. 

herein lies the rub. 

he refuses to do such a thing. 

it causes some of the most awful suffering and attitudinal backlashes. 

pretty much by now, i totally hate him. 

in this moment, i am sure that the feeling is pretty temporary. 

at least i am hoping it is temporary.

i often wonder how on earth do we survive all the crap that mates toss our ways?

i just don't know. 

it is pretty rough inside my skin right now. 

this is how i know it is june. 

june is also responsible for the Stanley Cup Playoffs. 

it is more important than actually celebrating a wedding anniversary. 

even if his team isn't playing. 

and that is most often the case. 

so no anniversary. 

he has a weird disease underlying everything. 

so any other stress that comes his way is piggybacking onto 

dermatomyocytis. 

i am uncertain if he feels it at all anymore, since it is in remission. 

it is rheumatoid in nature. 

and rare. 

it is one of the diseases that is featured on the show "House".

its expression is of having a pulled muscle in every muscle in your body at the same time. 

his came out in skin rashy patches that looked like psoriasis. 

when it was in full flare up, 

he would have to stretch his neck and turn his head simultaneously to swallow. 

if he sat on the sofa, he would not be able to get up. 

little things that add up and are scary are featured in this. 

the net result is that he had a heart attack from this stupid disease.

it weakened all the muscle strength of his heart.  

we all have to eat totally differently because of it. 

exercise is more important too. 

i worry about my kids and the likelihood that they could inherit some freakish part of his 

dysfunctional dna.

like i don't worry enough as it is already. 

so in addition to handling heart and skin and muscular issues, 

he is cranky as all shit.

and this is where he is the most generous. 

he shares his bitchy inner self 

mostly with me. 

i am tired of it all. 

june is sucking a lot this time around. 

i wish  i could enjoy the love and successes around me better, 

but this is a vacuum that hones in on my joys. 

i am fighting tooth and nail to keep from being ingested by that vacuum. 

if only we could get to july through safer waters. 

that sure would be worth all the rough riding. 

thanks for letting me release some of this...

it is not good to bottle it all up, but there is no place to really let it go either. 

xoxo. 

w. 

buhbye bad ju-ju

i am in the middle of re-watching a series of episodes of Foyle's War.

it is very enjoyable in spite of the war-time setting. 

what strikes me is that all the crummy stuff that happens to the many characters in the series

is the same no matter when it is happening. 

i find it much more palatable with the great costuming and the british accents. 

it seems that my need for this is to help ease me through some of the daily grinding here. 

there have been a few events that are knocking me about.

first there was the loss of my tooth. 

that came on the heels of a complete need for a personal makeover:

eating better and exercising more. 

obvious as that is, it did need to be said and put into personal context. 

secondly, i was a vendor at a show on sunday.

my take was not as good as i had hoped it could be. 

it wasn't a loss situation, but i felt as if it might have been more positive. 

like everyone else, i have bills that are just hard to get under control easily. 

in doing a show circuit, you need to be months ahead of where you think you are. 

it is helpful to plan for december in june for example. 

so i was driving down 95 southbound to get home and just collapse. 

perhaps i had it in my mind to even make some fuss over father's day for my hubby. 

somehow, that became the last thing on my list. 

i had purchased a lovely photograph from one of my fellow artists, 

Doug Hockman. 

the hubby's truck has been causing him intolerable grief. 

so i snagged this beauty for him. 

i thought it would be sorta sweet and romantic and all. 

all of doug's beautiful photos can be seen and purchased from his website:

http://hockmanphotography.com/

also he is often available to meet as you rifle through some of his other photos 

at shows. 

for more info as to where he might be and when he may be there, 

i get caught up here:

https://www.facebook.com/DougHockmanPhotography

***

as for one of my more recent events, 

coming back on the highway from my day at SOWA...

this happened. 

my rear tire shredded on the highway. 

i actually watched it roll loose on the road, spinning across 3 lanes of traffic and finally coming to rest 

at the guardrail bordering the innermost lane of traffic. 

can you say

unbelievably freaked out???

all things worked out ok. 

but i am still a tad shaky from the entire experience. 

not that any of the lunatics here would notice. 

i was required to drive home from CT last night in the pitch dark for a two hour spate. 

husband bought himself a "new" old car. 

i went with him and the boy to go retrieve it. 

two hours down, two hours back. 

not a thank you or a please in the conversations. 

i have plenty to say about how irritated i am for the lack of sensitivity regarding my shakiness...

however in the efforts to remain a decent human being, i will restrain myself on that tirade. 

everyone is fine. 

no one was injured. 

all is ok. 

not perfect, but ok. 

reasons to be grateful... A, B, C...

***

so i am going to instead primp and show a pretty new necklace that has been coming in stages. 

i did not plan it so, but it worked out to be this.

sometimes, i think things just have their own way of coming together. 

this photo is from my sowa showing. 

still you can get the gist of what pink and green can mean to me. 

calming. restful. orderly. 

ommmm. 

time to spend some effort with the pearl girls. 

i need their classy elegance 

and restful timelessness 

to soothe my frazzled feelings. 

xo. 

W.

things that are lost

sometimes things are lost. 

this can be both physical as well as not. 

like you can lose a pen ... or misplace it. 

perhaps you can lose a train of thought. 

something that i am doing all too regularly these days. 

i consider it part of my aging process. 

pretty soon, i will have a well filled basket near where i sit. 

it will be filled with wisps of thoughts never fully formed. 

or perhaps filled with ones that should NEVER be expressed. 

today, i felt the pain of loss. 

it is probably from almost 20 years ago that this thread began. 

my dentist wanted me to have some oral surgery to make my gums as strong as possible. 

i was in the middle of raising my three children and the idea of voluntary pain, 

so soon after 3 natural births... 

scared me senseless. 

i knew i would get kids when the pain of childbirth was ended. 

it did not seem plausible that the very painful prospect of gum surgery would yield 

such a happy and pleasing result. 

now years later, i feel terribly foolish. 

i was told after my first kid was popped, to do some crunches. 

some kind of specific exercise to pull my abdominal muscles back into what was healthier shape.

instead, i became pregnant again and was unable to wear my jeans 

within no time at all. 

i mean i could not bend properly after 3 weeks. 

this was my boy... mr. 10-4. 

he delayed my already flimsy resolve to return to abdominal shapeliness. 

i kind of gave up. 

an ectopic pregnancy resulting in surgery, 

another bouncing big baby girl 

and then 

a failure of term pregnancy left me a little busy and heartbroken. 

so within 6 or so years, i had 5 pregnancies of which 3 had gone to term. 

i was busy and not focused. 

the result was i never regained a passable waistline. 

i not only let my hourglass go, but as a result, developed a herniation. 

the scar tissue from the surgical resolution of my ectopic pregnancy has resolved in a 

whopping tummy protusion. 

this needs to be surgically resolved. 

finally, after all this time, i have been diagnosed as likely having diabetes as well. 

it has been a hell of a lot to take in this month. 

today my tooth was seen by a dentist. 

should have had that stinking peridontic surgery. 

oh so long ago. 

everything that has happened is pretty much my own fault. 

i had my molar extracted today. 

long story short, the area around the tooth root was infected and the bone rotted around the tooth itself. 

i was in and out of the dentist office. 

no time at all was spent on the tlc factor. 

i felt like i had been jacked up onto a car lift, 

looked at, 

and rather dispassionately told that the tooth was going to need extraction. 

done and done in half an hour. 

i almost fainted. 

no one even noticed. 

the fact i have been crying on and off all day over a tooth is kind of surprising. 

still i feel a huge loss. 

it is the loss of my youth 

plain and simply. 

i have always been very careful. 

no broken bones or stitches as a child. 

my health issues were as a pregnant woman or the post partum effects of 

being the last person i considered. 

like i said, i have myself to blame. 

it is now my turn to deal with things. 

i gave up doritos. 

soda. 

pastry and cookies 

(except today... so much stress)

now eating cholesterol sensitive foods. 

only one coffee a day. 

drink more water as soda replacement. 

vegetables are king. 

salt is still here, but not as much. 

each day a little more of things i have indulged in have gone by the wayside. 

surely i do not need them. 

still 

my resiliency in physicality is at an all time low. 

i am very sure that it will rebound. 

losing weight will help or completely get rid of the diabetes. 

my fingers are crossed here. 

surgery for the hernia will be loads easier. 

and the joy of wearing nicer clothes is a huge perk. 

i am really looking forward to that. 

it is not only a time of loss, but also a time of huge personal growth. 

my kids are old enough and 

my husband is too old. 

everyone needs to pitch in some. 

i have been there for all of them... in any way needed. 

now it is my turn. 

and only i can make this work. 

while losing my mind over the death of my tooth, 

i  sorted some flowers and placed them by size, shape and colors 

into an old printing block tray. 

here is how nifty they all look together. 

tomorrow,  i shall spend time with this tray of lovelies. 

it is time to make some replacement inventory. 

i participated in a two day show in my own back yard. 

it took all of last weekend to complete. 

my son helped me out and it was really great to have his company all day for two days. 

he is a great kid. 

some pics from the now completed,

FESTIVAL FETE, Garden City location.

earrings, pins and barrettes

a  cutlery case repurposed for earrings and barrettes

my son, soaking in the counteractive effects of a recent edition of 

POPULAR MECHANICS. 

it should offset all the jewelry. 

a necklace, bracelet and ring display table. 

a nice grouping of beady flower necklaces

now i think would be a good time to hit the hay. 

loads to do tomorrow. 

heaven knows, i will enjoy making it ... 

and perhaps after a good sleep, i won't sound so maudlin. 

sleep tight kiddies. 

xoxo.w.