Monday, January 2, 2012

tabula rasa or a clean slate

well, as i mentally turned the page on my perpetual calendar, 
i am offered up a fresh day. 
a fresh year, 
and a chance for a do over if i want one. 
the past year was covered with yesterday's posting. 
the potential that i alluded to should not be overlooked. 
i feel very proud of what i was able to accomplish with so many speed bumps in place. 
i know they were there, cause i put them there. 

several attempts were made in 2011.
mawkishly at best and worst. 
they were things i learned from and with their experiences, 
i look forward to fresh opportunities. 

i tried to do some shows last year. 
this year i have already applied to participate in many already. 
these include ones already into the holiday season. 
i feel emboldened. 
and i feel fresh. 
perhaps even a little brash. 
i plan to shake things up as much and then more if i can. 
the only one of course to walk away from any of this 
with shaken artist syndrome, is me. 

my plan was to become desensitized to things going wrong. 
instead, embrace that which goes well and can be improved further. 
i think i got a lot more comfortable with it all and found out as i participated,
 i made friends at shows. 
everyone else was in the same boat. 
it has really been a good feeling to gain confidence about my work, 
and develop friends with the same interests. 

i entertained a wonderful man. 
not my husband either. 
he neither winced at my dog hair infested lair, 
nor did he miss a beat snickering any of my jokes. 
he also did his job.
{thank you , thank you , thank you!}
he also encouraged the hell out of me to do my own job. 
thank you david. 
my guru and buddy. 
my artist representative. 
my friend and husband to my other new friend, his beauteous wife jennifer. 
as they both struck out on their individual endeavors, 
i went along for the ride. 
me with them, and them with me. 
it was occasionally a tad bumpy, 
but most of the time it was a full on good time. 
i can't wait to see what they bring my way this year!!!
if luck prevails, perhaps i can bring a little bit back to them. 

i decided to pursue filling wholesale orders that david brought my way. 
i plan to keep up with that, 
and bring new ideas and executions to the velvet sample roll. 
it seems like a good time to stop panicking and put my nose to the grindstone. 
if things go off course, 
perhaps my new safety net of friends will catch me, 
prop me up 
and push me to have faith in myself once again. 

hubby and i now have two kids in college. 
last year, it terrified us. 
the tuition was gonna cause a very large rift if allowed to do so. 
it is not always a flush financial environment in little Rhody. 
we spent a lot of the time wringing our hands and getting all out crazy. 
now there is a tide to the whole system. 
we are not panicking, just planning for the first time. 
it is refreshing to see that we can do things together without crippling fear. 

the consistency of my having work, 
allows us to have groceries in house most days. 
when our pantry fails to be filled with useful items, 
we can always call down the street for really tasty Thai food.
they are very happy to supply us with it. 
the idea of having to eat rice and beans regularly is no longer the  mandatory option it has been. 
we don't have to, we now get to and like it a lot.

if i can just make myself do it,
 i can go play tennis every wednesday. 
me first, children after!
chew on that one mes cheres.
this shall allow for me to regale the two friends 
that admitted that were listening to me rant about my experiences... 
to hear about the  outcome of 
i can work on my ongoing interest in not looking pear-shaped forever. 
and if try really hard, maybe there is room to improve my playing a game i truly enjoy. 
*{unfortunately there is a woman i play with who is not pleasant enough for my liking.}
  {she is referred to as 'the raisin with a racquet'}. 
{if i can get a few more pounds to say hasta la bye bye,
 i will move faster thus getting revenge on the raisin, by playing better. }

anyways, i need a new pair of jeans.
 it sure would be nice if they were more than one size smaller. 
if i dream it, it will stay in focus. 

also i am sure to have a few other hair brained schemes happening, 
but moving furniture around and my supplies into working placement, 
will be nothing but a winning situation. 

i have made only parts of jewelry today. 
i guess panic about my january 4th deadline is not in full tilt just yet. 
i wish i had  a few random photos of some flowers and other stylings 
 that make my heart flutter to share, but i don't today. 
tomorrow holds greater promise for such a goal to be attempted. 

i bid you good night...

No comments:

Post a Comment