Sunday, January 15, 2012


usually i do not take the whole new years event into consideration other than to alter 
the year when i write a check 
or date something for a good reason.
i have no need to change this now. 
i do feel however that there is a lot of stuff changing in my world. 
and it probably has as much to do with the turning over of the new calendar or page within. 
come to think of it, i didn't get a new calendar this year and i'm not sure that the mr. did either. 
so the things that are rolling over are more to do with stages of life. 
they are amorphous and therefore really more difficult to document. 

i delivered a necklace to a friend last night. 
we sat with her husband who after all these years remains as besotted as i have ever seen him. 
they looked so happy and calm as we spoke and laughed. 
strangely, i had not realized two things... 
we have now known one another for about 13 years. 
holy smokes? 
has time in fact been sliding along side of me without me recognizing its passage?
answer: yes. 
the second thing was that both of their sons called while i was at their home. 
it never in a minute occurred to me that two of their three kids have 
either graduated college
or are just starting it.
i mention this because, 
my life is filled with the chaos of shuffling people, ie my kids...
to and fro. 
it feels as if time is somehow suspended with everyone else's timelines. 
i feel as if i am a pedestrian at the airport walking beside a 
moving sidewalk. 
the world is velocitizing around me. 
and for all of you scratching your heads... this is a real word. 
at least it is according to the massachusetts motor vehicle dept. 
i got my license there and they had a question about what velocitizing was. 
it is when you are driving along and the speed at which you are traveling sort of loses 
context with all that is around you... so you think you are going slower than you really are. 
so you may be inclined to speed up, but you are already going puhlenty fast. 
score one for the MA division of motor vehicles. 
so my life feels like that. 
i feel out of sync with so  many elements within it. 
you already know this if you read this with any frequency. 
once a year subscribes you to that qualification. 

what a run on thought... 
oh, you are still willing to come along for the ride? 

as for last year... i had a high school, middle school and college student in the family. 
now i have two college students and a high schooler. 
it seems hardly possible. 
and they are subjected to house rules with a large dose of interpretation. 
 the holiday visit was nice. 
only one hideous glitch, 
i had the weird chest cold/flu for days. 
it finally is vacating my chest now. 
i was febrile during christmas day. 
achy and grouchy. 
for a change i actually wrapped gifts well ahead of the day. 
so i was well able to wallow in my discomfort. 
it is really hard to tell when you have a fever while you are having hot flashes simultaneously. 
let me assure you of what i think about that confusing thermostatic wild ride, 
it really sucks. 

the kids seemed to have a lot of time spent draped on furniture, sleeping:
playing games with one another on line or on the ipad. 
sometimes they went out with their friends too. 
just a quick game of laser tag for my daughter
(she is really proud that she came in first for one of the games...
she really worries me with her applicable skills).
or some video game and pizza with the guys for the boy.  

they all recieved minimal giftings, but were happy as could be with what they got. 
it was funny, but everyone wanted boots or shoes. 
so hard to shop quietly for these... so we all compiled our fave choices. 
everything was backordered or out of color stock. 
so we ventured out into the world to take on self service shoe/boot shopping. 
halley needed some new work shoes. 
we all went to a shoe warehouse store. 
the kids helped each other try on stuff. 
graham was thrilled to have found just a great pair of boots that fit his feet 
and sort of had man heels. 
he had been wearing a pair of my husband's cast offs for a couple of years. 
they are sturdy and well made, however, they were too small. 
so he was thrilled to not only tower over his sisters 
but also to be able to let his toenails actually grow. 
small shoes are no fun. 

while we were searching for the perfect pair of black old lady shoes for hal, 
she and tess were trying on suede platform heels. 
when hal was a much smaller girl of 6, 
she would only wear flat shoes and she would fall all the time. 
it rarely happened in my presence, so i gave it little thought. 
my husband of course took her to see a couple of orthopedic specialists. 
they announced that she had something called "seaver's disease".
as she entered middle school, the falling seemed to happen more regularly. 
she really had the middle school principal worried when she fell. 
i realized and explained to him that her idol
and future dream was to become the next 
tina fey. 
she was also admittedly, to anyone who had any sense to ask, was falling on purpose. 
it was that she was working on her prat falls and trying to develop 
a vocabulary of physical humor:
accessing her inner kramer. 
he of the wild hair and seinfeld show fame. 

so you could have knocked me over with a feather the day i was at the mall, 
with all the kids and varying friends 
in the shoe dept. at Nordstroms. 
hal slipped her little tiny foot into a boot with a stilletto heel. 
then slid her other foot into the other boot. 
my god, she was born to wear heels. 
i was so amazed. 
grace, elegance, easy gait, 
all there. 
what the hell had the past few years of ortho exams been all about?
her own humor. 
and her parents were the pitiful recipients of this hidden skill-set in magnificently heeled boots. 

so what does all of this have to do with anything? 
at the big store, looking for ugly, black, gripping soled shoes for her job,

generalized horsing around with silly boot play... 
my eyes rolling here.

she and tess tried on some wild purple suede platform heels.

contemplative decision making moment

great, but not really work related.

wild plummy flowers ...

patent leather with purple trim?

i had NO idea tess also was of this bracket of 
future owners of jimmy choo's.
they blew my mind away.

graham helping tess try a pair on. 

halley playing vanna white

we have settling down.

no longer the little chublets cruising in sneakers and flat shoes. 
now they were bodalicious and in their god-given right wearing stacked shoes. 
posing away like nicki minaj.

i am so good in these suckas.
 i don't even need to buckle them on.

Don't look at me...

well, since you are still looking at me...
i'll stick my booty out while practicing 
 the "bend and snap"

where did i go while this was all happening?

i just snapped pics of the three of them.
it was our last night together and i still hadn't made any grandparents happy.
they never have timely photos of the kids.
mostly, i think because when i actually get all three of them to sit for the camera,
at least one of them is flipping me off.
i would get really angry,
but i used to do it too.
so where can i possibly go with that and not be an enormous hypocrite?
no place.

the only trick is to let them go as they are willing to do.
eventually, their true feelings will show through.
they get too busy to bother tossing me that long finger and they just are
consumed with how funny they think they are.
and who really gives a hoot.
they are having a blast.
i try to adhere to the mode of being invisible in the car...
officially it is called the "shut-up and drive" system.
this is how many parents have found out what their teens are up to.
emulation of being on a safari.
do not disturb the fragile environment ...
take the damn photo before the lion sees you and charges your way.

this is what erupted.

a really nice and genuine group hug. 

the actors taking a break...

look who is not feeling a part of the act

reading his lines for the camera.

so as i said earlier...
there are transitions afoot.
the kids seem to really enjoy one another...
and they are all growing up just too damn fast for me.

now take a bow children. your day is done.
night everyone...


1 comment:

  1. I wish I could wear those high heels so good. You have some great kids!