Sunday, July 17, 2011

sweet nothings...overdue

if you are new to my blogging,  you may be ridiculously disappointed. 
now is when you should close this window to avoid that inevitability.
this is a commentary on my ordinary life. 
and some of the nothingness that is filling it up. 

i "grew up" in the age of seinfeld. 
you know, the show about NOTHING. 
well here i am with nothing to really say. 
the days have sped by, as i have been working to make jewelry for shows. 
and really, nothing has happened that is genuinely noteworthy.
(except my newest style of necklace)

during this period, 
i have acknowledged that my temper is a very moody thing with its own machinery and timeline.
i laugh at some things and shake my head at others. 
and then i regretfully flip out and rant at a lot of quirky stuff that
 i really have no right to let get under my skin. 

here is a smattering of the crazy nothings in my craw:

1} driving in rhode island... with a tip of the hat to massachusetts.
this deserves a multi-pronged approach.
a} motorcyclists... i was driving behind a nervous neophyte motor-head yesterday.
 he was hogging the road and going extra slowly. 
he seemed really uncomfortable to the newness of his skills and was being uber careful. 
not that i have ANY objection to slow riding or to careful driving...
'cause there isn't enough of that on any given day. 
BUT, it just seems as a normal precautionary effort  to consider a helmet. 

my thoughts run to using dull kitchen knives.
 use them at your own risk. 
they tend to be poor cutters on food, but on your fingers when they slip, oh boy. 
bad news. 
so if you are a new motorcyclist with unreliable skills, and an affection for living, use a helmet. 
your family and other motorists will thank you. 

b} if you are on a highway road... one where the speed limit is posted at 50 and up, 
do not cut across 3 lanes to take an exit. 
just wait, or even better, plan your exit strategy in advance with some care for others on the road. 
i am sure to keep my sputtering to a minimum this way. 
that is if you care. 

c} if you are old, consider the right hand lane. 
i border on this age issue and prefer to not hang up other drivers.
 driving the speed limit or less is preferred in this lane.
not everyone feels the same way that you do. 
as a group of roadsters, i have some bias against taxi drivers, tow-jockeys and largish trucks. 
they tend to tailgate to nudge slower drivers out of their way. 
it is scary to see them hanging on your bumper when you are uncomfortable going beyond the posted speed. 
their aggressions can cause you to panic and make an unfortunate driving maneuver. 
i try to stick to what ordinarily will weed them out of my sphere of traveling. 
it helps. 

if you are in doubt, i have many more rants on the topic of driving. 
 i do not want to clutter your mental in-box with these.
i reserve the right to do this at any later date. 

2} if you are asked by your mother to plug in her phone to recharge it, 
it is more successful if you plug both ends of the charging device in. 
i say this 'cause my darling 3rd child was asked to perform this task.
she neglected to plug the charger into the outlet. 
this led to a disconnection from an important call that i had been waiting for.
ugh, no one likes  low  power in their phones or their lives. 
this one i laughed at,
 since she even likes to reflect on her ambient blonde moments. 

3} i just do not like change. 
everyone who knows me at all, knows this. 

i realize it is pathetic, but it is one of my many eccentricities. 
if i am planning on something, and it changes, i need more than one minute to 
think about things and get ok with it.
i like the act of rationalizing ... and coming into a rest stop of personal comfort, ie acceptance. 
i have been putting out fires for so long, that i have little stability to rely upon. 
usually, these points are the very small ones that are most troublesome to react properly with. 
in this, i prefer finding a small place to start rebuilding  my comfort area from. 
my efforts revolve around being  more stable than not.
i tend to think that i rely on this more heavily than most do.

as i express my neurotic inner creamy center,
 i find, that everyone has this stuff to deal with. 
i am not alone.  
and i think that this is good for connecting with others. 
in the immortal words of popeye the sailor man:
 "i am what i am". 
or is it
 "i yam what i yam"?

4} when it is over 90 degrees in my house, i do not enjoy baking. 
or more specifically, the heat that my professional oven throws. 
in fact, this is a smart looking stove/oven in a stainless steel finish.
i paid for it one scone at a time...
it does not have the cute appearance of and insulation of a commercial looking stove. 
it is the really is a "mccoy". 
uh, i mean a VULCAN.
(thinking of that hunky roman god of fire and forge, pounding metal into desired shaping).
i can put 4 half trays of cookies, or two full pans
or 6 cakes in to bake at one time. 
it takes a while for all this heat to dissipate.
one pan of brownies for my family, 
is not as good as efficient a project as one might like. 
even if they are manna from heaven. 
the excessive heat that is created and thrown  at this time in my life, is mind boggling. 

this week, there are some tasty blueberry pies on sale at whole foods. 
...just saying. 

5} if you are gonna throw a tantrum my way, 
i am going to respond in kind. 
if your garage is cluttered as hell, and disorganized to boot, my additions will not 
create more discord. 
and later if you throw a tantrum, 
you better fix something in the house or 
for your inane lack of reason. 
i will laugh at that and forget about my ire. 
otherwise, an already long vendetta will be elongated. 
again, i am what i am. 

6} if you are dependent upon as assist from me, please give me notice. 
i like that. 
if gas in my car is required AND a timeliness are part of the package, 
notice is really appreciated.

7} if you have an excess of gorgeous cucumbers from your back yard garden, 
that you are going to share, 
i am gonna thank you. 
 you better be ready for that thank you to come in the way of earrings. 

8} if the depth of crap on your bedroom floor exceeds one layer, 
you better be ready for some complaints. 
if it reaches this level of ugliness, 
you better be ready for some trash bags. 

9} would it be considered lazy to do takeout every other night?

10} how does one tell a pal delicately, that you have some issues with communicating with them?
i found recently that i responded to a couple of  situations with uncharacteristic dryness . 
it was self preservation. 
my dryness was interpreted as rudeness. 
so much irony there, it is hard to know how to deal with that.
diplomacy and delicacy in response is not  recognized. 
nuances will be missed should i try to use them. 
both recipients of said dryness were hurt and reacted very poorly.

yes, i have needed external counsel on how to approach this. 
and that is, you can't do anything to get through. so get a grip and carry on, knowing that this is the case. 

both of these women are loyal to a fault and kind to their inner fibers. 
yet... i struggle with their lack of perspective. 
as it has been said, life is a work in progress. 
perhaps i can just not let them get to me 
and keep my snappishness in check. 
i can hope right?

in a karmic sense of balance,
 i was the rude person that intruded upon a luncheon date of two of my favorite ladies. 
graciously, they neither kicked me out from their date,
 nor complained 
one single syllable
about their 
ongoing health issues or the fact that i had inserted myself into their private time. 
i love you sheri and susan. 
ad infinitum. 
and then even more so. 
someday when i get a grip on how my life of nothingness is quite manageable 
i may have a way to react to some of it as you would.

thank you for visiting.
and now back to trying to manage some sweet nothings 
on this superlatively pretty day.


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