theme parks, teeth and other head flotsam

one might think i have mountains akin to Everest cluttering up my brain, full of unending junk.

no inane topic seems free of a reason for me to dribble on about it all. 

well, imagine how hard it is to put some of this into an order that allows

 to actually think every now and again? 

generally speaking, i find it pretty overwhelming. 

and then there is a group of 5 others in my cracker-box bungalow. 

for reasons unknown to me, they like to share all the inanity of their own lives as well. 

worse yet, they expect me to remember it too.

i feel like the dad / husband /boyfriend / bff

 that sits on a sofa at the mall, while someone else shops for their own needs to be met. 

you know the place... kind of near the front of the store. you get to hold all the bags and the purse while someone gets to try on pretty things or fiddle with electronics, package free.

that is me. 

 i am the keeper of household dross. 

mental dross that is. 

my youngest is unable to let the dog just sit near me. 

she is certain that he will get more love from my maternal pez dispenser than she will. 

all of my attentions are neatly packaged in a small tablet format. they are sweet and able to be dispensed neatly and uniformly. 

to each, a pez candy of motherly love. 

she is as jealous and confused about it as her hormonally imbalanced teenaged head can allow her to be. 

if she sees the dog is looking cute, thinking about being cute, was cute 3 hours ago, or will again be cute....

she sits on him, next to him, next to me, or in some really close manner to both of us. must be in competition for dog's love, or my love. 

she just doesn't know, she just wants it . the love pez. 

candy of dreams. 

in that she just told me her "really great and exciting dream". 

she went to target. 

we went to the check out area. 

they processed all of the stuff she selected for me to buy for her. 

it was free. 

(if i am buying all things for her anyways, how is it not free to her every day?)

there was a sign out front stating that it was a free stuff day.

she asked to go back into the store and get more stuff. 

i acquiesced. 

she did cartwheels down the corridor expanse of the juniors, accessories, shoes, maternity, sportswear, 

and women's sections. 

she filled 6 carriages and it was all free. 

we left. 

the end. 

good dream huh?

now neither of us can get this flotsam out of our heads... 

and i think she wants to go to target in reality. 

nope. not in today's plans. 

The reason i started to say anything here, just now, was that today has a theme. 

everyday has a theme. 

i feel like i am a character inside a theme park most of the time. 

yesterday was hot and its theme was crummy, ill-tempered drivers on the road.

a sub-set theme for yesterday's revolving experience was lazy hungry children. 

it included many texts 

phone calls 

and 

communiques. 

all related to where i was.

remote access of information about what there was to eat.

and that i was a creepy mother. 

seriously, 

i was on the fence about having kids at all. 

but my husband wanted some.

the followinginfo would have surely warned prepared  me better on that issue,

 had any woman shared with me how draining it all is to keep in order. 

i know at least one of my friends might have, but for the facts that :

1}  they do not have any less crap rolling in their heads than i do. 

2} everyone should suffer a sisterhoodly fate as they do.

3} they just could not get to it to warn me in time. 

4} ALL of the above. 

the purpose of today is a different theme park...

i knew it a while back. i even made an appointment for it. 

it is the care and maintenance of 

TEETH.

there are a lot of teeth in this collective. 

due to the vagaries of what has been called the german teeth-irish jaw experience, 

most of the teeth do not fit the jaws properly and are crowded 

in like uncomfortable  cohabitating elevator travelers. 

my husband is all Irish. 

all the time. 

when we met, he told me he was of Welsh origins. 

only his name was Welsh. 

the rest of his feisty persona is one hundred percent IRISH.

imagine the "troubles" of Ireland. 

then pack them in a dental format. 

you get his mouth. 

all kinds of crammed in and growing sideways. 

my family is prone  a more direct approach. we just lose teeth. 

skateboard accident(donny), 

baseball hop to the mouth accident(jeff),

 peanut brittle to the molar (mom), 

it just fell out (uncle dickie),

neurotic character and soft enamel(me). 

we all have our problems. 

blenderize this DNA in a child and you wind up with today's theme park. 

one trip to the orthodontist. 

one simultaneous trip to the oral surgeon. 

one tweaking of eldest child's braces

(can you tweak her personality too please, since you are in there???)

one pair of wisdom teeth to be removed. 

(can you take out the extra portion of pre-college jitters expressed as wise-assery

  while you are in there too???)

yep, i have a very large bottle of extra strength Advil waiting for the end of this day already. 

it could be for them, but it really is for me. 

please remember,

 i shall be having the rarified pleasures of the smallest child 

bouncing around trying to get me to fulfill her dreams of going to target

 and getting everything for free in the mix. 

either that or the library. 

do they do teeth, serve extra icy gin and tonics as well as fix teeth at the library?

if so, i am not paying enough for my library card. 

drive through would be nice too. 

i could sit in the parking lot, drinking my bevvie and the kids could all be taken care of. 

what, you didn't think i had room for a fantasy in my head with all this other stuff rolling around????

well i do. 

and it is a fantasy day in my mental theme park too. 

xoxo.

 W.